Worst Present Ever
by Eike
Summary: Terrorist. Shinobu decides to get Miyagi a surprise present that... doesn't quite work out.


Written as a birthday present for GaluxKitty. Check my LJ for the illustrated version.

* * *

**Worst Present Ever**

* * *

Shinobu tended to have lunch with the same crowd. He liked them well enough, but he often considered lunch breaks in general to be a waste of time -- he could either be studying or visiting Miyagi instead of sitting around at the university.

"So get this, my girlfriend put on her old high school uniform for me!" one of the guys at the table said. Everybody "oooh"ed appropriately. Shinobu said nothing, and tried to remember if he was the same guy who'd been complaining about his girlfriend's bad cooking.

"Yeah, it was awesome. It's like every guy's dream, right? To bone a schoolgirl," the guy went on to say. While several of them agreed with him and lamented that their girlfriends couldn't fit into their old uniforms anymore, one of them turned to stare at Shinobu.

"What about you?"

"Hm?"

"Your older girlfriend. I bet she'd look hot in a high school uniform, right?"

Shinobu tried to imagine Miyagi putting on a blouse and short skirt and quickly had to set his chopsticks down. Deciding he didn't have much of an appetite anymore, he stood up and picked up his tray. "No. It would make me gag."

He stalked off, ignoring their confused questions.

* * *

His mother was surprised to see him home -- something about him always ignoring her invitations. Shinobu wasn't entirely sure what she was going on about, but he tuned her out like he usually did.

"Mom, where do you keep our old clothes?"

"Huh?"

"A friend of mine said she needed a school uniform for a play or something, and she had already tossed hers. I thought we might still have Risako's lying around somewhere." Shinobu wondered if he should be ashamed of how easy it was for him to lie to his mother, before deciding that version was better than the truth anyway.

His mother thought about it for a couple of moments before she smiled. "Oh, the large trunk in Risako's old room. I think your old uniform should be in there as well."

The trunk was settled in one corner of the room, next to the old futon. It looked like his mother had started sorting the closet and then just gotten bored halfway through. Shinobu was glad his mother tended to get sentimental about their belongings, because otherwise the uniforms would probably have been tossed already.

The trunk smelled musty, thanks to the mothballs placed inside along with the clothes.

"Mom, do I have to wash this first?" he called out. A few moments later his mother joined him in the room, peering at the uniform he was holding up.

"Let's air it out and then put it in the washer. You don't want your friend to get poisoned." His mother took the uniform from him, smiling nostalgically. "Are you sure she's okay with an old design like this? It's been almost twenty years since Risako had to wear it."

"It's fine!" He didn't think anybody would notice anyway. Hopefully anybody who _would_ see the outfit would be too distracted to worry about the style.

* * *

"Shinobu?"

"In here!" Shinobu quickly gave the room a final glance-over: the lights were dimmed, the bed was made and everything was in easy reach.

"Shinobu, what are you -- OH MY GOD."

"Welcome home, s-sensei!" Shinobu mentally kicked himself for stumbling over the line -- the situation was a lot more embarrassing than he had imagined. Still, if he was going through the trouble of putting on a girl's school uniform, he was going to go all the way. That meant playing the part too.

It seemed to be having the right effect, in any case: Miyagi had dropped his suitcase and was staring at Shinobu completely slack-jawed.

"Sensei, I came for my extra lessons," Shinobu said, sitting down on the bed and spreading his legs a bit. It felt really strange, wearing the skirt -- he wondered how girls could put up with it on a regular basis.

Miyagi was still silent; he hadn't moved from his spot by the door at all.

"Miyagi?"

Finally snapping out of what Shinobu assumed was a lust-induced stupor, Miyagi said, "what the _hell_ are you wearing?"

That... wasn't quite the reaction Shinobu wanted. "I'm wearing a school girl uniform. You know. Because it's every man's dream to bone a school girl."

Miyagi looked like he wanted to say something, but was having a hard time finding the words. Hopefully those words would be "Shinobu I love you so much let me screw you into next week," but Shinobu was beginning to have his doubts.

"You don't like it?"

Miyagi started laughing somewhat nervously. "Ah, it's just, uh.... wait, is that Risako's uniform?"

"... How do you know that?" A slow feeling of dread washed over Shinobu.

"Ahahaha, well, you know, I was married to her once, and she... um... Let's say I just had a case of déjà vu?"

Shinobu wondered what deity he had pissed off, to be punished with all sorts of terrible mental images on the same day. This particular mental image had the added bonus of getting Shinobu's blood boiling. "You've done this with Risako?"

"Ah, Shinobu, please, we were a newly-wed couple, it's not exactly unheard of..." Miyagi, the bastard, was trying to write it off as nothing.

"Don't tell me these things! I don't want to think about my sister having sex!"

"You asked!"

The mood was absolutely ruined. Shinobu crossed his eyes and glared at Miyagi; he didn't even care if he looked ridiculous wearing the uniform.

Silence stretched on for several moments. If Miyagi thought that Shinobu was going to say anything, he'd be in for a long wait. Since everything was all Miyagi's fault, Miyagi should be the one to apologize too.

After a while, Miyagi sat down next to Shinobu, causing the bed to shift a bit. "You didn't shave your legs," he commented, his eyes roaming down Shinobu's body and making Shinobu feel even more self-conscious.

"Of course not. Why would I do that?" Shinobu tried not to blush when Miyagi's hand came to rest on his thigh.

"Ah, I don't know. So I guess you aren't wearing panties either?"

The question made Shinobu's cheeks flame. "... No." He hoped his tone of voice conveyed that he hadn't even considered it, and that there was absolutely no way he had tried on several pairs before deciding it looked too stupid and he'd just be stripping them off anyway so whatever.

Miyagi's hand moved slowly up his thigh, pushing the skirt aside. He leaned over, breath tickling at Shinobu's ear. "I think that's against school policy, Shinobu-chin."

Oh. This was the part where he got into character, wasn't it. Steeling his resolve, he got up and pushed Miyagi down. "Please, Sensei, don't tell anyone! I'll do anything..." Shinobu said as he straddled Miyagi's hips.

Miyagi waggled his eyebrows. "I hope not all my students are such sluts."

"Just me. I love sucking cock, sensei." The two of them both paused and stared at each other; it was Shinobu who broke the silence by laughing and collapsing down on top of Miyagi. "Sorry. I can't do it. It just sounds too stupid."

"Yeah, I can't take this seriously anymore." Miyagi stroked Shinobu's back, chuckling to himself. "I really hope none of my students try anything like this. I've already got one younger lover, I don't think I could handle another."

"Pfff, you can barely handle the one," Shinobu joked, poking Miyagi in the ribs. In retaliation, Miyagi flipped them over so he could now grin down at Shinobu.

"At least I'm not the one in drag."

There wasn't much of a comeback to that, seeing as how it was true -- Shinobu opted instead to pull Miyagi down for a kiss. He awarded himself a couple of points for winning that "argument," although he got a feeling they'd both be coming out as winners the way it was derailing.

* * *

OMAKE

Sometimes Shinobu wondered why he hung out with these people.

"Right, so, I think my girlfriend has a cosplay fetish or something, because she dressed up in a bunnygirl outfit for me. Bunnygirl!"

As everybody congratulated him on scoring an obviously good catch, one of the guys turned to ask Shinobu, "So, is your older girlfriend the type to put on a bunny outfit?"

Shinobu cursed his mind for supplying him with an _extremely_ disturbing mental image.


End file.
